Sacrifices were offered to God at the Temple to atone for sins, but here Solomon seems to be describing a house where many "sacrifices" or valuable gifts are being offered, perhaps by a busy and successful man in order to appease the anger of a neglected wife and children.

The lesson, I suspect, is that it is better to be poor, even, and to have family harmony and happiness, rather than to acquire great wealth if it comes at the expense of family trauma and break-up. Once again, what are our values? What is really worth having in life? What price are we prepared to pay for financial success? What price must our loved ones pay? Is it worth it?

Are there activities in our life or business that are more trouble than they are worth?

The thread continues. Many successful men have sons that cause shame, because of neglect, and a sheer lack of love and attention from their busy fathers. The sons have, in effect, been sacrificed to mammon. As a result, the wealth that the father spent his life accumulating may quickly be lost or foolishly squandered by a son who has little understanding of money and its management. Some men, realizing this fact too late in life, pass control of their business over to a non-family member at retirement or death.

Are we actively preparing our children for adulthood -- helping them learn to think for themselves and plan and make decisions? Paul says: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

Can we create important opportunities for personal advancement by virtue of diligent industriousness and loyalty, like the wise servant who ends up sharing the inheritance?

The fining pot and the furnace were used to purify silver and gold by exposing them to extreme heat that oxidized and eliminated their impurities. Is Solomon saying that God allows us to encounter problems in order to purify our hearts and find out what we are made of – perhaps in order that we may be more richly rewarded later? If so, then even the wisest person cannot expect life to run completely smoothly.

Peter uses similar language, telling Christians: "Do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you" (1 Peter 4:12). He continues, and explains the reason for the trials: "Rejoice, inasmuch as you are partakers of Christ’s suffering, that when his glory shall be revealed, you may be glad with exceeding joy". That glory is worth immeasurably more than any amount of silver and gold.

To what extent do our actions visibly demonstrate the basic attitudes in our hearts? The wicked person, says Solomon, tends to pay heed to liars, and liars in turn like to listen to trouble makers. Likewise it is said that only greedy people are deceived by the easy-money schemes of confidence tricksters.

Perhaps the thread continues from the previous proverb. What is in our heart? What kind of people are we deep down? Are there telltale patterns in our behavior, if only we are willing to see them? It is said that people hear only what they want to hear. Do we?

"I’m all right, Jack!" was the catch phrase made popular by an old British movie – and "Look out for Number One!" Are we emotionally detached from the world around us? Do we care about the suffering of other human beings? Do we recognize and accept our social responsibility? It is important that we do, and do something about it, says Solomon, otherwise God may well allow similar suffering to come on us – because he treats us as we treat other people.

A father has a natural advantage, a God-given head start, in raising his children, says Solomon, because they tend naturally to revere him. Even the son of a mass murderer when asked on TV how he felt about the situation, said "Yes, but he’s my father". Where, then, do people go wrong?

As we saw earlier, parental neglect can be an important problem. Can we, therefore, move much further in the opposite direction and become pro-active parents who take a very keen and consistent interest in the welfare and education of their children?

A crown signifies honor, and when a man has grandchildren he becomes in effect a king, with a small band subjects to help protect and provide for him in return for his wise guidance. How sad if those subjects are alienated and driven away by his unwise and selfish actions, and the security and joy they afford as a family is lost.

In his letter to Titus, Paul says: "Teach the older man to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance" (Titus 2:2). How well do we handle family responsibilities?

Perhaps the thread continues, as Solomon asks us to think again about our personal responsibility and influence on other people. If a grandfather is a king, then his son is a prince, but how princely and appropriate is our behavior?

People are perceptive, and have expectations. Although they would be surprised to hear a foolish person speaking eloquent words of good sense, they would be shocked indeed to hear a person they hold in high esteem lying, or acting in an embarrassing and degrading manner. How seriously do we take our duties and responsibilities in life?

Perhaps the thread of family relationships continues. Grandparents like to give gifts to their grandchildren, and they are usually well received. Likewise a bunch of flowers from a husband to a wife, can bring as much delight as a precious stone. The value of a gift, in the eyes of its recipient, says Solomon, can be out of all proportion to its cost.

Here is good basic psychology, but how well and how often do we apply it? Gifts, even small ones, sometimes simply words of appreciation, affection or encouragement, can be very important in building relationships. The principle always works, he says. It prospers – it pays back more value than we pay out.

Although a gift can bring us favor with people, friendship can also be created or strengthened by an act of discretion. If we know of a transgression, do we cover it up for the sake of those concerned, or do we gossip about it to others instead? Does the word "repeat" imply that we heard the details from someone and then passed them on?

Are we building a reputation for discretion and diplomacy? Do we actively seek love? Are we peace-makers or a trouble-makers? Do we understand the destructive power of gossip?

Some people are very thick-skinned. They only seem to learn by very painful experience, as implied by the hundred stripes Solomon mentions, a beating far more severe than the maximum of forty stipulated in the law of Moses. Can we be that stupid, that reluctant to listen and learn? Must we remain forever enrolled in the university of hard knocks?

A wise person has the humility and readiness to learn. He is receptive and eager to improve and become more successful. The foolish person wears a thick protective layer of pride that is impenetrable to reproof of any kind. He is happy to carry on in the same old unsuccessful way, and complain about his hard luck . Are we ignoring reproof? Is life trying to teach us a lesson? Is our body telling us to stop abusing it? What stops the message sinking in? Why do some people never learn?

The evil man describes here is consumed by a desire to rebel and fight the system although he lacks the power to do so successfully, and knows full well in advance that he cannot win and that the consequences will be very painful. Perhaps this is the same thick-skinned person we met in the previous proverb, who learns nothing of value from failure. It is the system that must change, he thinks, not him. By refusing to keep a low profile, he makes himself a specific target for retribution.

As expressed in an old prayer, do we have the courage to change what we can change, the patience to accept what we cannot – and the wisdom to know the difference? Are we rebelling and foolishly stirring up problems for ourselves? Are the problems we experience the result of our own stubbornness and unwillingness to adapt to reality? Are we banging our heads against the proverbial wall?

The theme continues. The evil man set on rebellion, as we saw in the previous proverb, is an example of a fool in his folly, determined to engage in law-breaking activity and actively looking for others to join him. A man confronted by an angry bear will immediately take flight, yet the potential danger of becoming involved with the fool may be far greater, although it may not be evident at the time.

Do we think for ourselves, or could we easily be influenced and led into serious folly by foolish and wicked individuals? How strong and resolute are we? Are we too soft, like a cushion that always bears the impression of the last person who sat on it? Sometimes even major corporations and governments commit acts of incredible and obvious folly, when weak yes-men let themselves be sucked into the foolish schemes of a forceful leader.

Solomon seems here to be talking about the sin of ingratitude, of taking the blessings of house and home for granted. Typical, perhaps, is the thoughtless husband who treats his wife like a slave. He gets but he does not give. He rewards her kindness with coldness and grumpiness, and if we believe reports in the media, very often with physical violence as well. Evil is in that man’s house, and in his heart, and will never depart until he wakes up and decides to change his ways.

Do we appreciate what other people do for us, at home and at work, or do we take it all for granted and think we deserve it? How can we express our appreciation? Perhaps some of the small gifts we read about earlier would be appropriate, even a few encouraging words of thanks?

Perhaps the theme continues as Solomon warns of the danger of stirring up strife with rash words. In the old story, the little Dutch boy puts his finger in a hole in the dyke and so saves his town from flooding. When water seeps through a dyke it makes the opening a little wider so that even more water can quickly follow it, and soon there is a torrent. It is the same, says Solomon, with an argument that begin with a few rash remarks and ends up as a damaging slanging match that can destroy relationships.

If our lips are like the walls of a dyke, how well sealed are they? Must we allow those first unpleasant words seep out? Can we leave off contention before it is meddled with, asks Solomon. In other words, can we see the danger looming, think about the consequences, and so hold our tongue?

Do we understand justice, or do we tend to go to one extreme or the other, depending on our temperament? Sometimes, people who are trying hard to be kind and merciful are unwilling to condemn any action, and will find an excuse for any evil. They lose touch with reality, and become very permissive.

On the other hand, some people may be so suspicious and sensitive to crime of any kind that they attribute evil intentions to the most altruistic of actions. They also lose touch with reality and become very cynical and condemning of those are trying to do good.

There is a balance, as typified, perhaps, by the scales of justice. Apparently there is a play on words in the Hebrew, to the effect that we should neither right the wrong nor wrong the right.

Many people read self-help books and purchase money-making plans advertised in popular magazines and newspapers, but very few ever put them into practice. Although they may be unsettled in their present lives and have vague desires for something different and better, they are not really ready to take any kind of constructive action. They are mere dreamers. They are looking for something better on an intellectual level, but in their hearts they are not yet ready to commit themselves to change. They are all talk and no action. Why do they waste their money?

Likewise, apparently, many people go to college although there is no real love of learning and self-improvement in their hearts. Why do they bother?

Are we really ready for wisdom, or is it simply one more fascinating subject to study, and a stimulating topic of conversation?

How highly do we value friends and family? When things are going well, do we neglect and ignore them, or take the opportunity to build closer ties? Are we genuine friends, people who can be relied on to help no matter what the situation?

Brothers share common experiences from their youth that create a bond. Can we employ the same principle in order to cultivate and strengthen friendships?

Although we may be willing to help a friend in time of need, even financially as far as we are able, is it wise to sign contracts that will make us bindingly responsible for debts they might needlessly incur in the future, perhaps by borrowing money for a business project that fails, for example? Solomon says no, and not for the first time -- even for a friend.

Do we act on emotion and the spur of the moment, or do we take time to find out exactly what we are letting ourselves in for?

Some people love a good argument, says Solomon. They get a taste for it, they enjoy venting their anger and trying to put other people down. It becomes an addictive habit, an unpleasant part of their character, and it holds them back, but do not realize it. Why do they do it? Can they wake up and change?

The man described as making his door high may well represent someone who is vain, arrogant and high minded. He needs high doors to make way for his over-sized head and ego to pass through. Such a person is courting trouble in life, especially when he runs into others who have a taste for disputes. Do we needlessly provoke trouble for ourselves by our haughty manner?

Once again, Solomon is asking us to take an honest look the bad habits and attitudes that may be hindering our success, then change them for the better. How do the physical things with which we surround ourselves, and the way we dress, reflect and reveal our basic character?

The theme continues. The person in a previous proverb acquires a taste for dispute because he has a froward heart, a bad basic attitude. Nothing pleases him, and his contrary attitude is expressed in his words, and so makes matters worse. He is unpleasant to be around, and people avoid him whenever they can.

Do we need to change our outlook? Are we pessimistic or optimistic? Does it show in our conversation, even our face? Do we overlook the good that does exists because we are too intent on looking for evil? Do people enjoy our company, or avoid us? Attitude is all-important in life.

Although fools are made and not born, Solomon seems to be suggesting that the parents’ influence on the child’s character is so powerful that wisdom and foolishness do often seem to be hereditary. Are we passing on foolishness or wisdom to our children? What influence are society, schools and the media having on our children in this respect?

Do we grasp our God-given responsibility for influencing and shaping our children so that they do not end up as fools? Children can bring us joy or sorrow, and to a large extent the choice seems to be ours. The cycle of foolishness can roll on from generation to generation, but sometimes education or a personal encounter in the workplace or at Church can break the pattern, and the child wakes up to the existence of a better way.

A merry heart is powerful medicine, creating positive attitudes that uplift our health and catalyze the very biochemistry of our bodies. On the other hand, says Solomon, negative emotions can make us ill and wreck our health.

I suspect that once again the theme carries on. The foolish son from the previous proverb is usually emotionally immature, never having been properly disciplines and taught by his parents. As a result, he has little emotional control and gets his feeling hurt very easily, and lacks the resolution required for worthwhile achievement. The normal conflicts and disappointments of life easily bruise and break his spirit.

Can we take positive action to control our emotions, as we would to deal with physical discomfort? Can we find an appropriate "medicine"? Some people find that work and physical exercise are very powerful tonics. Some rely on positive affirmations, as Norman Vincent Peale describes in "The Power of Positive Thinking".

Perhaps the theme continues again. Just as a merry heart influences our attitude and outlook, so does a gift, but Solomon is not encouraging corruption. It may simply be that sometimes we encounter difficult people in very lowly positions who are authorized approve or disapprove certain things, solely at their own discretion. If they are in a bad mood, our request may be refused, for no good reason, but a small gift can magically change their attitude.

The phrase "out of the bosom" signifies a purse or wallet, since that is where they were kept, tucked inside the robe, against the chest. This fact probably implies, also, that the amount of money was quite small, simply a tip.

Solomon’s real lesson, however, may be that just as we can control our own emotions, as we saw earlier, so can we also influence the emotional state of other people, and make them more receptive to our requests, even wicked ones. Money is not the only gift that influences people. Charm, politeness, friendliness, humility and many other good things also come "out of the bosom", which metaphorically means the heart, and emerge from the mouth, which opens like a purse.

The inspirational classic, "Acres of Diamonds", tells of a man who travels the world looking for precious stones, and then finds them buried in his own back yard. Some people have all kinds of reasons why they cannot succeed in life because of circumstances beyond their control. If only they lived in London or New York, or some other more favorable location. Then they would begin their new venture, and make it big. They know there are no diamonds in their back yard, so why bother digging? The grass is always greener . . .

The wise man confronts practical reality, and thinks and plans and researches to find the opportunities that already exist all around him. Just as a plant reaches out its roots and finds the water and minerals it needs for growth, so wise men and women who take find that all kinds of unexpected resources become available to them when they take positive creative action. No need to travel to the ends of the earth after all.

Perhaps the theme continues again. Earlier we looked at the causes of foolishness, and now we look at the consequences. Although we may see the need to help our children, as Solomon stressed a moment ago, are we still making excuses? If only we had more money, if only we could give them golf lessons, or buy them a car, or send them on expensive skiing trips and journeys to the ends of the earth . . .

But children need many things that money cannot buy – such as love, time and attention. They need wise parents who understand the importance of a game of cards and talk around the dinner table, and helping mum and dad around the house and garden.

If we do neglect our responsibilities, we may be very sorry indeed in the end, when their foolish and even criminal conduct bring home grief and bitterness.

Unfairly punishing the just and foolishly flogging officials for no good reason was, apparently, a common abuse of authority by unwise rulers in Solomon’s day. Why would they do such a thing?

Since power tends to corrupt, common causes of such abuse would probably include impatience, personal pettiness and unrestrained bad temper, and cruel and impetuous actions based on inadequate investigation of the facts of a situation. Do we ever make irrational decisions because of anger or disappointment? Do we ever shoot the messenger?

Perhaps the family theme of the previous proverb continues, because parents do enjoy the kind of almost absolute authority spoken of here, and can very easily abuse it in a very unreasonable manner. How well do we rule our children?

A person of excellent spirit is sweet and reasonable, patient, gentle, polite and willing to be wronged – rather than volatile, impetuous, loud-mouthed, combative and quick to criticize and complain.

Paul says: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

This man of understanding is slow to speak, never says too much, and is level-headed, cautious and even-tempered -- enviable qualities of an excellent spirit, attributes also of a good parent.

The theme continues. The wise person with an excellent spirit is quite sparing and economical with words, as we have just seen. It follows that one of the first steps towards developing such a state of understanding is simply to stop talking so much, to deliberately turn off the tap and reduce the flow. Too often when we open our mouth too wide and too often, we put our foot in it. However, even a fool can at least appear to be wise, says Solomon, if he says nothing, because people tend to respect a man of few words, especially if those few words are well chosen and delivered with a pleasant manner.

Can we hold our peace? Can we stop talking and simply keep our lips closed? Can we appreciate the value of so doing?